


Handprint on My Heart

by exandriantrashpanda (topothesia)



Category: Critical Role (Web Series) RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-25
Updated: 2018-07-25
Packaged: 2019-06-16 04:39:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15429216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/topothesia/pseuds/exandriantrashpanda
Summary: Liam's got a crush on his best friend. Is it obvious?





	Handprint on My Heart

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written for a prompt at the Critical Kink meme. Thanks, prompter!

Liam is always quick to clarify (although he's long since stopped trying to convince the Internet): he and Sam are just friends. Really good friends. Yes, they're married -- to other people. The flirting, the touching, the husband and wife nicknames are just things friends do. Close friends. Right? Right.

Now if he could just convince himself that it means nothing when, oh, just to pick an example that haunts his fantasies, Sam sits on his lap and whispers “I want you inside me” at the end of a Talks Machina, things would be great.

But he can't. Not completely, anyways. He doesn't get a lot of private time to himself, but more than once lately he's ended up stroking himself to completion thinking about exactly what it would be like to kiss Sam, or touch him, or do any of the increasingly improbable acts that he's suggested that they're already doing. It's almost embarrassing -- hell, it is embarrassing -- how turned on he gets and how fast he comes while thinking about Sam. At his age he shouldn't be masturbating in the bathroom like a teenage boy. And yet.

Liam likes his life, though. He loves it, in fact. He doesn't want to change it. He knows Sam loves his life, too. So, well, he's stuck with this embarrassing crush on his best friend and hoping that Sam never notices. He can be cool. Right? Right. Except that it’s getting harder to handle the teasing and the affection without wanting to cross the line or without feeling guilty, like he’s somehow doing something wrong by doing the same things he’s always done.

Sam may not always be serious, but he's not unperceptive. One Thursday night he catches Liam in the parking lot and says “we're getting a drink,” waving off Liam's protests that they both need to get home.

They end up at a different bar from the one they usually go to with the rest of the cast. It's quieter and they find a booth in the back. Liam peels nervously at the label on his beer bottle, wondering why Sam has brought him out tonight. Is something wrong? 

“So,” Sam says, also fidgeting with his bottle, “I suppose you're wondering why we're here.” He smiles and Liam finds himself melting a little despite the nervousness.

“Well, yeah.”

Sam hesitates and then says, “did I do something wrong?”

“What?! No!” Liam blurts. He was not expecting that question.

“Because you just seem… distant… lately,” Sam says. “You're, well, you're my best friend, and I just wanted to make sure I didn't do something to piss you off. I've been told I can take things too far sometimes,” he says, smiling sheepishly.

Liam, completely nonplussed, drops his gaze to the table, unsure of what to say. Sam, for once in his life, stays silent, just looking at him.

Finally Liam says cautiously, “Do you ever wonder what your life would be like if you'd made different choices?”

Sam looks at him quizzically. “Are you having a midlife crisis? Do I have to help you pick out a sports car or climb a mountain?”

Liam laughs despite himself. “No! I...just...sometimes I wonder what things would be like if I’d made different choices. That’s all.” He trails off, unsure of how to explain in a way that will not be completely embarrassing, and takes a sip of his beer. 

“Well, yeah,” Sam says, “Sometimes I do. I think everyone does. But what’s going on? Are you and the missus okay? Is it work? Tell your good old pal Sam here,” he says, catching Liam’s eye and trying to make light but failing. 

“It’s not my marriage,” Liam says. “It’s not work. It’s…” -- he can’t believe he’s going to say this -- “it’s you. I… like you. I...love you,” he blurts. 

Sam blinks. “Well, I love you too,” he says. “You know that. I believe I’ve said it once or twice. Frequently in front of the entire Internet.”

Liam figures that if he’s in this hole, he might as well keep digging, so he says, “Yes, but what I mean is -- oh God, why am I even saying this? -- I REALLY like you. I find myself...wanting more than this. And I don’t know what the hell to do with that.” He takes another long drink of his beer and stares at the table, cheeks burning. 

Sam is silent again, and Liam is wishing that an earthquake would happen and provide a convenient chasm for him to fall into so that he could escape this conversation, or that somehow he could rewind time. 

“Oh,” Sam says finally. “Oh. Well, uh, I was not expecting that. But… I guess I would say that those feelings are mutual,” he says and coughs embarrassedly, and Liam looks up to find that Sam is also blushing. “But...well, even though it is California and all...and even though we wouldn’t be the first in our group of friends to have crossed that particular line…”

“We’re married,” they both say at the same time, and laugh. 

“And kids,” Liam adds. “And work. And…” He scrubs at his face with his hand. 

“And everything else…” Sam adds, sighing. He covers Liam’s hand lightly with his own. Liam doesn’t pull away.   
“Which is why sometimes I wonder how things would have turned out if, well, you know,” Liam says. 

“Yeah,” Sam says, and sighs. “That...would have been something.”

“Hell of a something,” Liam says, and turns his palm up to squeeze Sam’s hand. Sam squeezes back. They sit in silence for a bit. 

“So...do I need to stop being such an outrageous flirt?” Sam asks, still holding Liam’s hand. “Because if that’s making you uncomfortable, I will.”

Liam pauses for a moment before replying, trying to find the right words. “I don’t want you to stop. I don’t want to stop, either. It just felt wrong when I thought that things were one-sided. But, well, now we know how things are. If you’re okay with it, so am I.”

Sam nods, and Liam nods, and they sit in silence a bit more. It’s less awkward now, at least. 

Sam suddenly grins. “How long have you had a crush on me?” he says. 

Liam didn’t think he could blush any more or any harder, but apparently he could. “That sounds like we’re in high school.”

“No ducking the question: how long have you like-liked me?” Sam says, laughing. 

“I don’t know!” Liam protests. “A long time, really. It just crept up on me. But lately I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you.”

“That’s so cute!” Sam coos.

Liam isn’t sure if he wants to kick him or kiss him, but settles for turning the tables: “What about you?”

“Me?” Sam says mock-innocently.

“You,” Liam says, trying to glare at him but failing.

“The same, I guess? You’ve been such an important part of my life for so long, that I guess I wasn’t surprised that sometimes I think about you ...well, like that. But then I started to worry that I was crossing a line somehow, or like you could tell that maybe I wasn’t joking all the time, and when you started acting weird lately, well…”

“Here we are,” Liam says. 

“Mutually crushing, forever pining, constantly making the Internet wonder if we really mean it,” Sam says. 

Liam smiles. “Sounds about right.”

When Sam drops Liam back at his car, he surprises Liam by turning it off and getting out when Liam does. 

“Thanks,” Sam says softly.

“For what?” Liam asks.

“For...being you. Being my best friend. Being honest. And hopefully this not being awkward forever,” Sam says, and then he wraps Liam up in a tight hug. 

Liam returns the hug with no small sense of relief. “Thanks for not making this weirder than it could have been,” he says. 

Eventually they let go and Liam opens his car door. Sam, already getting into his car, says, “And Liam? if our wives both die before we do, I’m totally going to be chasing your ass around the nursing home,” Sam says. 

“I’ll pencil you in,” Liam says, laughing. “Now go home, you freak.”

“Love you too,” Sam says.


End file.
